When the boss man charges you with finding some outrageous ski and snowboarding outfits, I had nowhere to go…. I started by checking out some old James Bond  YouTube videos, this helped me very little, Roger Moore even made this super tight yellow onesie look cool! Check it out!
This then lead to around 15 minutes of day dreaming about lasers, rockets and watch gadgets….. I also came up with the diving logic that “Eating yellow snow” isn’t that bad…..  it’s sterile at least, although as soon as I said this I was shot back down to earth and reminded of the task at hand… This led me to Google images and a search for the top 10 most horrible, ridiculous and outrageous outfits to hit the slopes in recent decades past.

At number 10, I think we’ll go soft on these guys……….. It’s clearly a stag do, although I’m slightly upset they haven’t given their characters the happy go lucky stereotype that I like my penguins to have.  I also think the majority of us in the office get mushy when penguins appear in some conversations. In fact I’m still trying to illegally steal one and train it to bring me beverages on demand….. Not sure if it counts as animal cruelty but it would be damn cool!

Number 9, we have another comedian….. I thought it was rare to find a male nurse in a hospital, let alone on the slopes. I have to be honest here. At this point I was struggling to find anything that was wildly amusing…. It wasn’t until later when I refined my search that I found some little gems! Nonetheless, I certainly admire this guy’s spirit.

At number 8, Rodney,  you  Plonker, what were you thinking? I think there’s a lesson to be learnt for everyone here. Don’t buy knock off ski-wear! Especially from a crooked cockney on a market stand, I think the “out of a suitcase” approach is a big enough warning light. If however, Mr  tax man is pinching you hard before you take your next visit to the slopes, ignore the “TWO FOR A PAAAAAAAAAND” vibes coming from the market centre and give our outlet a go. At least your dignity will remain intact.

Carrying the 80’s theme on, at number 7 we have this little beauty.  The fact that this item was being sold on eBay really doesn’t bode well for the buyer does it? Imagine the awkwardness of turning up to the slopes with this on? Every fresh faced youngster can’t wait for you to pass so that they can burst out into laughter without hurting your feelings……….. Cracking design on the trim though.

At number 6, the solar powered jacket. To me they seem to come with many problems, they look horrible and propose a large safety problem…..  That problem coming in the form of an aeroplane confusing you with a landing strip.

Number 5, “Err gee, thanks Nan” is a term often used in my house at Christmas. I think this is exactly what’s happening here. I’m aware that this picture is probably a good couple of decades old but still, behind that false smile and hyper masculine pose is a child wishing he could escape the room to cry into his pillow whilst wishing he’d asked for a G-I Joe instead.  Your only hope would be to find the receipt, rip the stitching out and take his hideous over empowering boiler suit back!

At Number 4, wow, just wow. Beetle juice wouldn’t have the charisma to pull this off. I know designers are always trying to make a name for themselves and stand out from the rest of us ordinary folk. You’ll definitely turn a few heads with this on. Rest assured the expression on their face won’t match what they’re really thinking.

At Number 3, I’m one for shameless plugging……. Did you know that Simply Piste is also the proud sister company of Simply Beach?  We now have a target audience for those winter months.

Number 2, we also have a swimwear store too…..   :/

Our Number 1, There are some shameless pictures out there, but this one is just fantastic, the “off-white” look adds that extra cringe factor. It can’t even cling onto that “vintage feel”.  It certainly take a bold person to pull this outfit off.

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